And to break the silence...

I know, this is not our regularly scheduled programming, but I -am- a college student, and I -am- writing this blog occasionally about things that happen to college students. Especially college students waiting to graduate and go to a different school.

That said...

I truly believe that colleges need to politely step into the electronic age so that their prospective students do not render themselves insane. Tearing one's hair out in an anxiety attack, stressing about whether or not you will receive that coveted "big envelope" enough that your stomach curdles most unpleasantly, and being unable to sleep due to the question of "Will I have to start paying my loans in six months because I suck and I won't get in?" is enough, people.

The fact that you can, at some colleges, view the status of your application on the internet is a boon. It soothes the frantic, ragged minds of the young student that yearns for acceptance - literally. Checking every day to see that that little phrase - "Application is ready for review" - is still there is a ritualized act by now, a comfort, albeit a cold one, that my application is indeed somewhere, and it has been readied for review. This implies that it will indeed be reviewed sometime soon.

And then that little phrase changed.

It changed to the most insidious phrase I have ever seen. All of my hopes and dreams and questions and wishes and anxieties lie on this one little phrase - which is a lot of pressure to put on two words, mind you. The fact is that we as potential students have a lot of responsibilities piled upon us, the motherload of all collegiate stressors (save, perhaps, the Master's thesis and pretty much everything involving a Ph.D) due to the fact that some of us are largely screwed if we are not accepted to our potential college of choice.

Or perhaps I'm the only one that would be inherently screwed, but the fact is that this one little phrase has brought the nail-biting, lip-gnawing, trembling, nauseous anxiety to whole new levels. I come to that webpage seeking reassurance and answers, I delve into the realms of the internet in hopes that I will find the answers to my fate, that my anxieties will finally be laid to rest, and that I can either start trying to get a job at Burger King to pay for my student loans which will ungraciously be dumped upon me six months after I graduate, or I can relax, file my student loans, and ignore the burden of the debt that is piling upon me... and I find two little words that are now the bane of my existence, that answer nothing, that tell me less than the answer I would receive if I asked a two-year-old to explain the Pythagorean theorem.

"Decision made."